Kelsea Ballerini is suffering from a broken heart. The 32-year-old’s troubles do not necessarily stem from an off-again, on-again relationship with beau Chase Stokes, though that probably plays a role. Rather, Ballerini’s obvious emotional ache comes from a deep longing to be a wife and mother.
Ballerini’s real-time struggle between the girl boss identity she bought into at just 19 years-old and the reality that it’s left her “sitting in parks” coveting the love and memories made by families with kids is documented in her latest release “I Sit In Parks,” In the music video for the song, Ballerini is seen through a nostalgic, warm filter swinging on a playground as quick clips of a child playing with bubbles or children being embraced by their parents cut in and out.
“I sit in parks, it breaks my heart,” Ballerini admits in her opening line.
By the world’s standards, Ballerini has it all. She, as she declares in the song, “did the d–n tour” and so much more. In fact, she’s spent the last 13 years checking off career bucket list items like singing at the Grand Ole Opry, topping the charts, collabing with other artists, coaching The Voice, and performing at countless concerts.
At the end of the day, though, all Ballerini can see is “just how far I am from the things that I want.”
Dad brought the picnic, Mom brought the sunscreen
Two kids are laughing and crying on red swings
We look about the same age
But we don’t have same Saturdays
Ballerini repeatedly wonders if she “missed the mark” and if it’s her “fault for chasing things a body clock doesn’t wait for.”
Yet, she seems hesitant to let go of the lifestyle that put her in this position in the first place. The albums, the tours, the awards, the magazine profiles, and more are “what I wanted, what I got,” Ballerini remarks in the chorus. To cope, she’ll keep hitting “the vape” and relying on her selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) drugs to keep her afloat.
So I sit in parks, sunglasses dark
And I hit the vape, hallucinate a nursery with Noah’s Ark
They lay on a blanket and godd-mit he loves her
I wonder if she wants my freedom like I wanna be a mother
But Rolling Stone says I’m on the right road
So I refill my Lexapro, thinkin’
Ballerini ends the song by noting her makeup artist, Tarryn Feldman, was due with a baby over the summer, but the only baby the five-time Grammy nominee had to look forward to was her album “due in March.”
Her “I Sit In Parks” music video ends with a zoom out that shows Ballerini’s was all fake — a studio’s best attemtps to give her the life she doesn’t actually have.
Not A Walk In The Park
Ballerini doesn’t explicitly say it in her song, but she appears to have some regret about the end of her nearly five-year marriage in 2022. After all, her relationship with fellow country music star Morgan Evans was the closest she’s gotten to the life she now desperately dreams of and desires in her latest song.
At the time of the split, Ballerini claimed the two went their separate ways due to “irreconcilable differences.” It wasn’t until later that she admitted her devotion to her career and her unwillingness to have children at the time — if at all — played key roles in the divorce.
Marriage and children aren’t the end-all, but they do significantly boost a woman’s likelihood of being happy. Girl bosses like Ballerini, however, seem to have bought the “lean in” lie that life and career must be perfect before they can even consider pregnancy. By the time they realize they’ve been duped by boss babe voodoo, usually sometime in their 30s or 40s, they are stuck with a shrunken pool of eligible men and rapidly declining fertility.
The truth is, women can never “have it all” — a thriving family and full-time, ladder-climbing career, feminism often promises — without some significant tradeoffs. The good news is that, contrary to what our culture preaches, motherhood changes women for the better. Suddenly, “having it all” looks a lot less like traveling the country on a tour bus and a lot more like a family picnic in the park.
For Ballerini — and all of us — the clock is both metaphorically and literally ticking, a fact demonstrated by the spinning watch in the song’s music video.
It’s not too late for Ballerini or the countless other women dealing with the same dilemma to get hitched, settle down in the suburbs, and start a family. Doing so, however, requires sacrifice.
Touring all the time, dating unserious men, and divorce are not conducive to the picturesque Saturday family outings Ballerini observes in her latest song. Ballerini and every woman who is serious about, well, getting serious can start by dropping the girl boss act, trashing the vape pens, and weaning off the Lexapro.
Jordan Boyd is a staff writer at The Federalist and producer of The Federalist Radio Hour. Her work has also been featured in The Daily Wire, Fox News, and RealClearPolitics. Jordan graduated from Baylor University where she majored in political science and minored in journalism. Follow her on X @jordanboydtx.
