In Canada, You Can Have a Crack Pipe and Flamethrower if You’re an “Oppressed Minority”

Seems fair.

Accused of driving around Peterborough with a flamethrower, a loaded rifle and a crack pipe in his lap garnered a convicted drug trafficker no jail time.

Instead, Jesse Garlow — a Mohawk member of the Six Nations of the Grand River First Nation — was credited for time served and handed a suspended sentence due to what the judge described as “intergenerational trauma” and “attempted cultural genocide” in her Nov. 4 Ontario Court of Justice sentencing decision.

“Despite Mr. Garlow’s history of drug trafficking and the other items in that vehicle, I cannot conclusively infer that he was in possession of this firearm in furtherance of other criminal activities,” Justice Brenda Green wrote in her decision, also stating the drugs found inside his crack pipe were for “personal use.”

“Mr. Garlow is the personification of intergenerational trauma. I cannot imagine more sympathetic circumstances or mitigating factors that cry out for some compassion,” Green wrote in her decision.

Who, when suffering from ‘intergenerational trauma’ hasn’t turned to dealing drugs while brandishing a flamethrower.

The good news is this opens up a possibility for a real compromise on gun control.

Members of officially oppressed groups get crack pipes and flame throwers, everyone else gets banned from even having kitchen knives.

And what better way to atone for “attempted cultural genocide” than by letting minority members sell drugs to other members of their oppressed minority group? It’s done wonders for every minority group where it’s been tried.