Fathers are some of the hardest people to buy gifts for. Ask them what they want, and they don’t know. They finally figured out something they wanted, but it’s too late for you to gift it — they already went out and bought it, again. Deep down inside, you just want to get the dad in your life a gift that will match his masculinity and not send him digging for the receipt. The bad news is that there’s no foolproof list; the good news is that this is (pretty much) as close as it gets.
Man Tools
It’s only a slight exaggeration to say that there’s no worse feeling for a man than not having the right tool and no better feeling than having it. And when it comes to tools, there’s no better place to start than the socket set (especially if it includes a screwdriver and some wrenches!). Fortunately, there are a couple of great options from Craftsman for just $99.
The obvious follow-up to the socket is the drill-driver kit. While there are a zillion different options, the Father’s Day shopper won’t go wrong with a kit from DeWalt ($169) or Milwaukee ($179), each complete with two batteries, a charger, and a soft tool bag. Or get Pops the slightly less powerful compact version of the drill and driver that comes with a flashlight, ratchet, and mini reciprocating saw ($199). Dads spend a fair bit of their lives making sure the family automobile is road-ready, and there’s nothing more basic than putting air in the tires. But it’s far better to outfit Dad with a basic pancake-style air compressor ($100 and up) that he can also use to power a nail gun than to leave him bending over a bike pump. (And don’t forget to throw in at least one hose and the basic accessories.)
Regardless of how many power tools are in the garage, there’s no substitute for the adjustable wrench (often referred to as the “Crescent Wrench”) or this set of adjustable wrenches from the originator ($30). If the father or grandfather in your life truly has all the tools he needs, maybe the best gift is a place to store them, like this heavy-duty tool cart from U.S. General ($279). If you really need a big bang for your buck, a magnetic parts holder will save the man of the house from spending hours searching for that missing screw or bolt from whatever he’s fixing ($5).
Brute Force Objects
A good father can be incredibly gentle, but there is something deep inside a man that causes him to thoroughly enjoy engaging with matter and absolutely pulverizing it. If there are objects that allow him to do that while enabling him to protect his family, so much the better. One of the foremost in this field of objects is the Glock 19 (starting around $500). Large enough to shoot easily and small enough to conceal, the 19 (and its many knockoffs) is a reliable point-and-shoot weapon that is a pleasure to fire. Contra that older gentleman who used to live in the White House and eat chocolate chip ice cream, however, the 9mm round will not “blow the lung out of the body.”
If Dad’s already armed, take a look at a holster from Tennessee’s T.REX ARMS, whose sidecar set-up ($150) allows you to carry an extra mag, a pair of handcuffs, or a tourniquet in addition to a handgun. Of course, extra ammunition for whatever gun Dad is shooting is always welcome, and a U.S. Concealed Carry Association membership (starting at $39/month), with access to training and legal resources, would round out the package nicely.
On the cheaper end of things that pulverize matter is Gerber’s Gator Machete, with a blade on one side and teeth on the other (available in 11″ and 18″ lengths, $25 and $37, respectively). Using this tool to saw through logs for the campfire or strip a fallen tree trunk of branches (as I did on a recent romp in the woods) is guaranteed to arouse feelings of manliness.
Looking for something dangerous but with a little more finesse? Consider gifting one of the many finely crafted blades from Montana Knife Co., whose stated mission is “to embody the best in American craftsmanship, the American worker & the American dream.” MKC sells knives tailored to cooking, hunting, and general outdoor uses. (Blades currently in stock start at $200.)
Man Toys
Every gift idea mentioned so far could easily fit into this category, but there’s nothing wrong with having a section devoted to stuff that’s purely for fun. The dad who grew up gaming in the ’90s might enjoy Palmer Luckey’s resurrection of the Game Boy — the ModRetro ($199). Compatible with Game Boy and Game Boy Color games, the ModRetro has a magnesium alloy shell and is a powerful reminder that, yeah, kiddos, there was mobile gaming before smartphones and Nintendo Switch.
The Lord of the Rings fan who’s also still a LEGO enthusiast probably “needs” the latest three 2,000-plus piece sets — The Shire, Rivendell, and Barad-dûr — you know, just as a daily reminder of the looming threat of evil and the enduring need to protect what’s good. For those who decide not to take out a second mortgage just to bring that haul home, there’s the Balrog Book Nook or, going even cheaper and switching gears to Star Wars, there’s the Mandalorian’s N-1 Microfighter (because, despite Disney’s nauseating leftism, Mando’s basically a homeschool dad).
Victuals
No gift guide for men would be complete without some mention of food or the equipment needed to prepare it. And when it comes to food prep, the outdoors is the dad’s natural domain. Sure, the well-rounded patriarch can pop into the kitchen and throw together a salad or a smoothie. But his home turf is the patio, the deck, the wooded campsite, which is why a grill — or a griddle — is one of the most appropriate Father’s Day gifts. Right now, Blackstone’s 28″ Omnivore Griddle ($399, or $249 without the hood) comes with a free accessory kit, including an apron that is proven not to ding his man card if he wears it while standing over a sizzling-hot hunk of meat. If there’s glamping in the family future, the 12″ x 14″ Camping Griddle with side burner may be the perfect choice, or you could always go with good ole charcoal for just $57.
While Dad’s certainly capable of prepping his own meat, Father’s Day is the perfect time to just drop it into his lap in the form of Biltong, South Africa’s version of the premier snack food for males — jerky. The $30 sampler includes Angus and Wagyu beef, and you can use promo code “Josh” for 10 percent off. (And no, I don’t have my own promo code, but I wish I did.)
Budget-Friendly and Nifty Knick-Knacks
If you read this section and find yourself wondering where the real budget stuff is, I’m just going to blame it on Bidenflation. Let’s be honest: $50 is the new $20 (sorry, Andy Jackson), but you can still find a great gift for a (semi-)reasonable cost.
For the anxious-for-the-fray dad who’s juggling long work hours, crying babies (and, let’s face it, other crying family members of various ages), and saving the world, gift cards to coffee shops are rarely a miss, and $15-20 is still usually enough for a couple of specialty lattes or a robust drip and that handcrafted pastry that’s been calling his name. Absent a favorite local coffee shop (sad!), there are only something like 47,000 different chains to choose from, but you might narrow it down to those that don’t appear to be blaring a “pride month” message, like 7 Brew or Scooters.
For the dad who can lay down a riff, the Pick Punch is a fantastic budget-friendly $25 gift. Speaking of budget-friendly, not only will he be able to save money by punching picks out of used-up gift cards, he may even sideline a few pesky credit cards that would otherwise be utilized to rack up monthly spending (just who’s utilizing those cards and what they’re spending on is a discussion for another time and place).
For the father who enjoys putting pen to paper, the Moleskine is the go-to notebook, but Exceed offers a comparable alternative for half the price, and you can throw in the personalized bolt-action pen to truly encapsulate the warrior-poet ethos. If the local patriarch enjoys fiction, political intrigue, and Jason Bourne-style bashing of bad actors, consider introducing him to Joel Rosenberg’s Marcus Ryker series for less than $20 a book (paperback).
There’s an endless universe of items competing for dads’ pocket space, but Gerber has a nifty twist on the Swiss Army knife. A utility blade is its own kind of knife with its own field of uses (which are many), and the inclusion of a nail puller and a wire stripper is a unique touch. All too often, multitools simply serve to wear holes in pockets and collect lint, but this tool isn’t likely to suffer the same fate. (Even if it does, every man knows that the years of having your leg needlessly chafed by a hunk of metal in your pocket fade away in the fulfilling moment when someone asks if anybody has a bottle opener.)
For those who end up with too little time or money for the gifts above, a simple “I love you” and some original art from the toddler who’s coloring on the walls as often as he’s coloring on the paper go a long way. To all the dads who read The Federalist, have a fantastic Father’s Day!
Joshua Monnington is an assistant editor at The Federalist. He was previously an editor at Regnery Publishing and is a graduate of Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.
