NBC’s Seth Meyers joined Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s Late Night on the list of clueless late night comedians who confidently attacked Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth for allegedly wasting taxpayer money on steak and lobster while not knowing that such surf and turf meals are a military tradition meant to boost morale ahead of significant events.
A sarcastic Meyers tried to set the table, “But back to Hegseth, you heard the man, the department is laser-focused on warfighting, and that includes the budget. No more frivolous spending on woke BS. This administration’s gonna be a vigilant steward of taxpayer dollars. They will not tolerate waste, fraud, and abuse… They said they would cut wasteful programs like cancer research, food for children, and they kept their promise. From now on, the government will only spend money on stuff we absolutely need.”
Seth Meyers (with the help of a Jen Psaki clip) joins Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert in not knowing about military surf and turf meals, “They spent $15 million on steak in one month. Who are you? Sterling Cooper Draper and Pryce? If you’re gonna eat that much steak, you better… pic.twitter.com/eskqq2b3US
— Alex Christy (@alexchristy17) March 12, 2026
After a siren went off, Meyers dropped the sarcasm, “Uh-oh! That’s the Late Night sarcasm alert. We have a new AI-powered sarcasm detector that closely monitors my tone and speech patterns to decide if I’m being sarcastic or not when I’m setting up a clip package. And based on how loud that was, I’m guessing the clip we’re about to watch might just prove the opposite when it comes to wasteful spending.”
In the clip, MS NOW host and former Biden press secretary Jen Psaki got in on the culinary cluelessness, “Today, we got reports that initial estimates showed Trump’s war cost American taxpayers $5.6 billion in just the first two days. At the same time, a new report from an external government watchdog finds that Pete Hegseth’s Pentagon was already on a massive spending spree before the war began, dropping $15 million on—wait for it, if you haven’t seen this story, look it up—steak and another 6.9 million on lobster tail in just the month of September.”
Meyers reacted by retorting, “They spent $15 million on steak in one month. Who are you? Sterling Cooper Draper and Pryce? If you’re gonna eat that much steak, you better have come up with a new campaign for Lucky Strike. No wonder Hegseth always looks miserable. He’s 24/7 meat constipated. That’s the face of a man war fighting with his colon. Also, it’s a real contradiction that you’re telling us how tough you are but now I can only picture you wearing a bib. ‘We are gonna rain hell down on them from above. I need the tiny fork. Who has the tiny fork.’”
Later, Meyers added, “Hegseth claimed his focus was gonna be on warfighting and lethality. But it sure seems like his actual priorities are very different. He’s gonna have to rewrite his next speech.”
Later, Meyers continued, “Hegseth claimed his focus was gonna be on war fighting and lethality. But it sure seems like his actual priorities are very different…So, the Pentagon seems a lot more focused on fancy meals and high-end instruments than laying out concrete goals for… pic.twitter.com/AmTtwyeMLd
— Alex Christy (@alexchristy17) March 12, 2026
In another clip, Hegseth was shown proclaiming, “From this moment forward, the only mission of the newly restored Department of War is this—” which was followed up by a chopped-up clip of a local Fox reporter adding, “Furniture…king crab…lobster tail…rib eye steak…cable TV…luxury music instruments.”
Meyers then tried to tie his ginned-up food scandal to current events, “So, the Pentagon seems a lot more focused on fancy meals and high-end instruments than laying out concrete goals for the war in Iran, which might explain why no one seems to know what we’re actually doing there.”
Ironically, it is almost certain that the men and women in the Middle East right now were served some of that steak and lobster. Seth Meyers is proud of the fact that he has turned Late Night into the Late Night Liberal Messaging Hour, but Wednesday showed the perils of that effort, as there was no one in the room to do some basic fact-checking.
Here is a transcript for the March 11-taped show:
NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers
3/12/2026
12:45 AM ET
SETH MEYERS: But back to Hegseth, you heard the man, the department is laser-focused on warfighting, and that includes the budget. No more frivolous spending on woke BS. This administration’s gonna be a vigilant steward of taxpayer dollars. They will not tolerate waste, fraud, and abuse. In fact, every night, Donald Trump sits down and balances the books himself.
[Trump voice] “Okay, let’s see. That’s $5 for soda, $10 for printer paper, and $77,000 for hand makeup that’s not fooling anyone.”
But it’s true. This administration will account for every penny they spend. They said they would cut wasteful programs like cancer research, food for children, and they kept their promise. From now on, the government will only spend money on stuff we absolutely need. [Alarm blaring] Uh-oh! That’s the Late Night sarcasm alert. We have a new AI-powered sarcasm detector that closely monitors my tone and speech patterns to decide if I’m being sarcastic or not when I’m setting up a clip package.
And based on how loud that was, I’m guessing the clip we’re about to watch might just prove the opposite when it comes to wasteful spending.
JEN PSAKI: Today, we got reports that initial estimates showed Trump’s war cost American taxpayers $5.6 billion in just the first two days. At the same time, a new report from an external government watchdog finds that Pete Hegseth’s Pentagon was already on a massive spending spree before the war began, dropping $15 million on—wait for it, if you haven’t seen this story, look it up—steak and another 6.9 million on lobster tail in just the month of September.
MEYERS: They spent $15 million on steak in one month. Who are you? Sterling Cooper Draper and Pryce? If you’re gonna eat that much steak, you better have come up with a new campaign for Lucky Strike. No wonder Hegseth always looks miserable. He’s 24/7 meat constipated. That’s the face of a man war fighting with his colon. Also, it’s a real contradiction that you’re telling us how tough you are but now I can only picture you wearing a bib.
“We are gonna rain hell down on them from above. I need the tiny fork. Who has the tiny fork.”
…
Hegseth claimed his focus was gonna be on war fighting and lethality. But it sure seems like his actual priorities are very different. He’s gonna have to rewrite his next speech.
PETE HEGSETH: From this moment forward, the only mission of the newly restored Department of War is this—
LOCAL FOX REPORTER: Furniture…king crab…lobster tail…rib eye steak…cable TV…luxury music instruments.
MEYERS: So, the Pentagon seems a lot more focused on fancy meals and high-end instruments than laying out concrete goals for the war in Iran, which might explain why no one seems to know what we’re actually doing there.
